Absinthe Of The Heart Read online

  Some for the good, but mostly…for the bad.

  1988

  “Delores, seriously, stop. You’re going to ace the test,” Kayla stated as she flopped onto Delores’s single mattress, belly first.

  Delores giggled at her best friend’s melodramatics. “You’re just saying that so I’ll come to this stupid party with you.”

  Kayla’s ears pricked up at the mere mention of Bobby Ferris’s party. Bobby was the star quarterback at their school, Harvard-Westlake, and Kayla had been crushing on him since the third grade. He was tall, dark, and handsome, everything a quarterback should be. All the girls wanted a piece of him, but he didn’t seem to be interested in anyone.

  But Kayla was planning on changing that tonight, and she needed her best friend by her side to ensure she didn’t get cold feet.

  “Please, Dee, please come with me. How can I win Bobby over without my wingman?” She propped herself on her knees and interlaced her hands together, praying Delores would say yes.

  Delores had never been able to say no to her best friend. They’d been inseparable since they were five-years-old. Even when Kayla was old enough to understand where Delores lived, and even when her mother forbade them to be friends, she never turned her back on her. She didn’t care that she was dirt poor, or that her mother bounced from guy to guy; all she cared about was that she and Delores remained best friends forever.

  Kayla never cared that she was rich—far richer than any of her classmates—because money couldn’t buy happiness, and every moment spent with Delores made her happy. They did everything typical sixteen-year-old girls did. They listened to music, went to the movies, and talked about boys. Well, Kayla talked about Bobby, while Delores just rolled her eyes and laughed.

  Delores would never tell Kayla, as their friendship meant more to her than some stupid boy, but she too had a crush on Bobby since forever. She hadn’t told Kayla, but after school, while she was waiting for Kayla to finish art class, Bobby had stopped by her locker and asked if she was coming to his party tonight. Delores had never been good around guys, so she nervously squeaked out a maybe. Bobby smiled and said he really hoped he’d see her there.

  There was no mention of Kayla, and that troubled Delores.

  No question about it, Kayla was the better looking of the two. She was blonde, tanned, big busted, and had legs that reached the heavens. Delores was more the girl next door type. Long brown hair, probably too thin for her five-foot-five frame, and far too many freckles sprinkled across her pale skin.

  They really couldn’t be more opposite.

  But Bobby had asked her if she were coming, not Kayla, and Delores couldn’t help but wonder why. That curiosity was the reason Delores finally caved. “Fine, you win.”

  Kayla squeaked in excitement, jumping from the bed and hugging her best friend tightly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! We’re going to have so much fun.”

  Delores half smiled, hoping the decision wouldn’t come back to bite her in the ass. “Okay, give me five minutes and we can go.”

  As she packed up her books, she noticed Kayla hunt through her enormous overnight bag. It wasn’t uncommon for her to bring over various outfits, as Kayla stayed over at Delores’s house at least twice a week. With Delores’s mom working most nights, or shacking up with her latest squeeze, the girls had the house to themselves most days. They sometimes pretended they were roommates, living off campus and surviving in the big, bad world together.

  “Here, you can wear this.” Kayla tossed a gold dress at Delores, who scrunched up her nose.

  “Where’s the rest of it?” she teased, holding it up to her body and wondering if there was a tiered matching skirt. She was so not wearing it.

  “Don’t be such a stick in the mud. I’m sure Ralphie would just love to see you in, or out of it,” Kayla said, shimmying out of her acid-washed jeans and short tank. She slipped into a turquoise leather skirt suit with a bright pink tank which showed off her toned, tanned midriff.

  Ralphie Arrington was in Delores’s advanced math class. He was cute in a nerdy kind of way, but Delores had no interest in him whatsoever.

  Kayla had been trying to set them up for months, but neither was interested. Delores had seen the way Ralphie looked at Kayla. Kayla, of course, didn’t notice because all she was interested in was Bobby. Delores hoped he didn’t break her heart.

  Delores watched Kayla tease up her long blonde hair, making her appear like a lioness ready to pounce. As she puckered her bright pink lips and smacked them together, she looked at Delores’s reflection in the mirror. “I’m going to lose my V-card tonight, Dee.”

  “What?” Delores was left speechless. Most girls had offered up their virginity to Bobby, and what sixteen-year-old boy wouldn’t be thrilled at virgins throwing themselves at him willingly? But Kayla and Delores promised each other that when the time was right, they’d lose their virginity to the person they loved.

  Kayla’s ploys to snare Bobby hadn’t worked, so now she was pulling out the big guns. This night was sure to end in tears.

  “Yes, it’s happening,” she confirmed, slipping on a pair of white lace fingerless gloves. All Delores could do was hope Bobby was too drunk to notice her best friend’s advances.

  As they caught a cab to Bobby’s mansion in the Hollywood Hills, Delores tried fruitlessly to persuade Kayla to change her mind. But she knew her friend was just as stubborn as she was. Her mind was set and nothing would stand in her way. Once this night was over, one of them would no longer be a virgin.

  Delores wished she’d said no, because as they trudged up the steep driveway toward the towering manor, she had an unsettling feeling sink to the bottom of her stomach. There were so many kids here. Delores was certain half the school had turned up.

  Bon Jovi’s “Bad Medicine” blared loudly inside—an omen of things to come even though Delores hoped that wasn’t the case. Both girls entered the open front door, pausing in the grand foyer to take in the beauty. Bobby’s father was loaded; he was some Texan tycoon. She had no idea what exactly he did, but from the looks of this house, he was successful.

  “Let’s get a drink,” Kayla shouted into Delores’s ear to be heard over the loud music. Delores nodded, needing the Dutch courage to help calm her nerves.

  Kayla made no secret that she was scouring the crowd for Bobby. She looked beautiful, but she always did. She was the beauty while Delores was the brains—as many people had said—and Delores was fine with that. She was happy to sit on the sidelines and watch her friend sparkle in the spotlight. That was why their friendship worked. There was no jealousy, no competition between them.

  So when Bobby sauntered down the white spiral staircase and headed straight for Delores, she quickly turned her back and nudged Kayla in the ribs so she was the center of his world, not her. Kayla quickly lowered the already low neckline of her tank and ran a hand seductively down her side.

  “Hey,” Bobby said, and Delores squashed down the butterflies. They had no right to be there.

  “Hey, Bobby,” Kayla replied, her voice low, seductive. “Cool party.”

  “Thanks,” he replied loosely. “Hi, Dee.”

  Delores closed her eyes and cursed her choice to come here. She should have said no. But she was here now. Turning slowly, she tried not to gag on air when connecting with Bobby’s mesmerizing hazel eyes. He looked far older than sixteen, his bulging biceps and facial hair rivaling most of their male teachers. He was a complete rebel with a silver stud in his left ear, and a leather jacket complemented his ripped, bleached jeans.

  Not wanting Kayla to clue onto her panic, she smiled. “Hi.” Bobby licked his full bottom lip, and the sight shot a surge through Delores.

  She knew Kayla was about three seconds from uncovering her secret, so without a second thought, when she saw Ralphie in a Hawaiian shirt a few feet away, she excused herself quickly and ran to his side.

  The move was completely chicken shit, but she’d rather that than lose her best friend
over a boy. “Hi, Ralphie!” she shouted, a little too loudly.

  Ralphie jolted, not expecting the company, but smiled when he saw Delores. “Hey, Dee. You here alone?” He stood on his tippy-toes, no doubt hunting the crowd for Kayla.

  “No, Kayla is here. She’s talking to Bobby.” Delores pointed at where Kayla was inching closer and closer to Bobby, who seemed to be combing the crowd, uninterested in her blatant attempts to seduce him.

  “Oh.” The disappointment was clear on Ralphie’s face, and Delores couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. She knew the feeling all too well.

  “Wanna get a drink?” Ralphie nodded, appearing thankful they both could drown their sorrows in a bottle of beer.

  Twenty minutes later, they were sitting poolside, watching their fellow classmates’ unsuccessful attempts at hooking up. It seemed with the alcohol flowing freely, everyone’s guards were down, and before the night was through, Delores had a feeling a lot of V-cards might be checked at the door.

  The view from up here was beautiful. There was nothing like seeing the City of Angels from this high up. The bright lights extended as far as the eye could see, and Delores couldn’t help but feel blessed she was able to witness such a sight. If it weren’t for her mother’s sacrifice and her father and grandmother’s deaths, then she couldn’t help but wonder where she would be. Everything did happen for a reason. She pondered on the reason why she helped Kayla on that first day of school. Would it amount to something life changing? She rather thought it already had.

  “Hey, are you all right?” Ralphie asked, breaking Delores’s trance.

  Shaking her head, she discreetly wiped away her tears. “Yes, fine. I think I’m a little buzzed from the beer.”

  Ralphie nodded, stealing a peek into Delores’s almost empty red cup. “Hey, you’re out. I’ll grab us a couple more.”

  Delores knew she should have said no, as she was already wasted, but numbing the pain seemed the only way to deal with what Kayla was probably doing with Bobby right now.

  Once Ralphie was gone, Kayla’s familiar scent of raspberry and cream caught the warm breeze, and Delores turned to her left, surprised to see her friend. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be shacked up with Bobby.” She wiggled her eyebrows, hoping Kayla didn’t see through her façade.

  Kayla swayed. She was obviously buzzed too. “He said he was going upstairs. He’ll be back down in a minute. I really like him, Dee, and I think he likes me too.”

  Delores swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Of course, he likes you. What’s not to like?”

  Kayla grinned, clapping her hands in excitement. “How’s Ralphie?” she teased, her voice dripping with innuendo.

  “He’s fine. He’s just gone to get us a drink.”

  “I’m sure he has,” she mocked, cackling loudly when Delores rolled her eyes.

  “Ooh, Dee, tonight is perfect. You. Me. We’re invincible. Promise me we will name our kids after the places we visit when we’re older and traveling the world together.” She slipped her arm around her friend, drawing her to her side.

  Delores’s stomach turned at the mention of kids, as she knew what had to happen for that to come about. But quashing down the urge to puke, she nodded. “Deal. I think I’ll name my daughter…Holland.”

  “Holland?” Kayla questioned with a laugh.

  “Yes, I want to visit where my Grandma Alene lived. She’s the reason why I’m even here. It seems fitting I name my future child after her.”

  Her explanation appeased Kayla, and Kayla pondered what she’d be naming her future offspring. “Okay then…I’ll name my son London.”

  Now it was Delores’s turn to laugh. “Why London?”

  Kayla cocked a hand to her hip, feigning horror that Delores didn’t know why. “Um, hello, fashion capital of the world.”

  Both girls burst into laughter, everything falling into place.

  “Okay, it’s settled then.” Delores raised her near empty cup to salute Kayla’s bottle of Budweiser. “To Holland Brooks…”

  “And to London Sinclair,” Kayla concluded as they clinked drinks. “It goes without saying they’re betrothed the moment they’re born. They have no say in the matter because it’ll officially make us a family.”

  Delores raised the cup to her lips and smiled. Regardless of their marital status, they did not intend to change their maiden names. It was modern and progressive. They also felt their children should bear their surnames, seeing as they did all the hard work. “We’re already family, Kay.”

  Kayla nodded, tears filling her eyes. “Sisters for life.”

  “Sisters for life,” Delores confirmed, drinking to their toast happily.

  However, once the beer hit Delores’s empty stomach, she felt the distinctive sensation that she was about to be sick. “Dee, are you okay?” Kayla asked, her eyes growing wide with concern.

  Delores didn’t have time to reply. She simply shook her head and covered her mouth, running through the throngs of people, hoping she’d make it to a bathroom in time. She took a wild guess and charged up the stairs, thankful when she saw a line outside the closest door to the right. When it opened, Delores shoved past the girl in line, who called out angrily, but Delores could apologize to her after she was done puking up her guts.

  She slammed and locked the door, running to the toilet and throwing up. She’d not eaten much today, but it still felt good to heave up all the booze she’d consumed. After ten minutes, she felt remotely better, but her head felt like a ten-piece brass band was playing the American anthem on a loop.

  She needed to lie down.

  Once she washed her hands and splashed some cold water on her face, she noticed a tube of toothpaste sitting on the basin. She helped herself, using her finger as a makeshift toothbrush. She felt semi-human.

  Smoothing out the snags from her wavy hair, she decided to tell Kayla she was ready to call it a night. She hated to be a Debbie Downer, but she resembled roadkill.

  Once she opened the door, she apologized to the girl she rudely cut in front of, who huffed and shoved past her. Out here in the brightly lit hallway, Delores’s head suddenly felt worse. If she could lie down for a few minutes, she’d feel a lot better.

  Not really knowing where she was going, she ventured down the corridor and took a left. This place was like a maze. She opened the last door, and thankfully, it was dark inside. She slipped out of her sneakers and fell face first onto the queen size bed. The silk comforter was so incredibly soft against her heated skin. A sigh left her parted lips as she nuzzled deeper into the blankets, the musky perfume wrapping her in a restful bubble.

  Her eyes were closed for mere seconds, when they suddenly popped open because she realized where she’d smelled this comforting fragrance before.

  “Dee?”

  Shooting upright, she moaned and raised a hand to her brow. Her eyes strained to see in the dark, but she’d know that voice anywhere. “I’m s-sorry, Bobby. I didn’t know this was your room. I’ll go.” When she attempted to shift however, the room began to spin, and she knew moving wouldn’t be happening anytime soon.

  “It’s okay. You can stay. I’m glad you’re here.”

  “You are?” she asked, wishing she could see him to make sure this was really happening.

  “Yes,” he replied, his footsteps sounding against the carpet, alerting her he was moving closer to where she sat.

  She should move, she needed to move, now, but she was suddenly rooted to the spot. “C-can you turn on a light?” she asked in a whisper.

  The room was gently lit when Bobby switched on the bedside lamp. It took her eyes a moment to adjust, but when they did, a wheeze left her because Bobby was breathtaking. His dark hair was tousled, his eyes slightly glassy from the buzz the beer had given him no doubt—he took her breath away.

  “I-I should go.” Even though her intentions were pure, her body betrayed her, and she stayed where she was.

  Bobby sauntered over to the bed, watch
ing her, not speaking a word. The way he looked at her, hungry and full of fire, stirred something in her she wished she could douse, but couldn’t. “Bobby, I-I…” But she didn’t know what she was trying to say.

  Bobby ran a hand through his hair, his bicep flexing with the movement. “I like you, Dee.”

  “You what?” she gasped. “W-what about Kayla?”

  “I like her, but…she’s not you,” he replied so matter-of-factly.

  Delores had always lived in Kayla’s shadow, and it never bothered her, not in the slightest. But she felt wicked, beyond sinful that Bobby Ferris wanted her and not Kayla. She felt so out of place, being here in her ripped jeans and flannel shirt, as she looked nothing like the girls who went to her school. This was the star quarterback, the guy every girl wanted, and he wanted her.

  That thought was incredibly intoxicating and had her doing something she’d never done before. When he slipped off his white t-shirt and stood before her topless with a silent invitation, she let go and forgot that Kayla Sinclair existed.

  Delores stared at Bobby’s huge, muscled body. She’d never seen a guy topless this close before. Of their own accord, her eyes descended to the front of Bobby’s pants. They were tight enough that she could see his very noticeable hard-on.

  A yearning began to burn between her legs.

  He was on her before she had a chance to think twice about her decision, not that she would, because kissing Bobby and feeling him against her was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. Her skin was set alight, but suddenly, kissing wasn’t enough. She wanted more.

  Their hands grabbed at one another desperately, clothes falling wherever they landed as the need to be naked and pressed against the other was all that mattered. Bobby’s red-hot erection nudged at her slick entrance.

  She should have felt disgusting for doing this to her best friend, but she didn’t—she had never felt more alive.

  “Are you sure?” Bobby asked, looking into her eyes as he was suspended, naked, above her.