Surrendered Read online

  “It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, one that every chef dreams of.”

  “But…?” V prompts.

  “But…” I sigh. “I can’t accept it. I’m going to be having a baby, one I haven’t even told Jasper about,” I reply, sinking into my seat.

  Even though I haven’t been to the doctor yet, I know the probability of me being pregnant, as opposed to not being pregnant, is pretty much a done deal.

  V knows I have yet to tell Jasper my news. She understands I’m not ready, and that I also want to wait until I know for certain. And surprisingly, she hasn’t yelled at me.

  “So what, Ava? Just because you might be pregnant, it doesn’t mean you have to stop living. I understand it’s a big life changer, but women have kids and a career all the time,” V says, looking over at me quickly while attempting to keep her eyes on the road.

  “The job is in New York,” I mumble.

  Suddenly I’m tossed into the passenger door, deafened by the car horns blaring at us. Thankfully, V is back on the right side of the road, after she swerved into oncoming traffic when she heard my news.

  She turns to look at me as she adjusts her red bandana, which is wrapped around her head like a headband.

  “Ohh,” she says, biting her lip ring. “Now I get your dilemma.”

  “There’s nothing to get. I’m not going, and that’s that,” I reply, totally aware I sound like a sulking five-year-old.

  V touches my knee while mercifully keeping her eyes on the road. “I’m really sorry, babe.”

  “It’s fine. This is my life now; I just have to deal,” I reply unconvincingly.

  “Enough of this depressing talk,” V claps, taking both hands off the steering wheel.

  I quickly take hold of the grab handle above my head because this woman is a menace on the roads.

  “What are you going to buy Jasper for his birthday?” she asks.

  Just the mention of his name brings a big smile to my cheeks.

  “I have a few ideas, but there is one particular thing I really like. I wanna show it to you, though, and hopefully you won’t think it’s totally lame.”

  V nods, popping her gum. “You know me, as blunt as a three-legged dog”

  I let out a small laugh. “That doesn’t even make any sense.”

  V laughs. “I know, but I got you to smile, didn’t I?”

  Man, I love her.

  “So, what are you getting the wicked witch of the East?” V smirks.

  “V!” I reprimand with a smile because I totally agree with her.

  “What? Three-legged dog, remember?”

  I laugh loudly, because in the span of two minutes, I’ve almost forgotten my troubles thanks to my bestie.

  “I have no idea. Any suggestions?” I question as we pull into the mall’s parking lot.

  She zips into a parking space, totally cutting someone off and laughs when they give her the finger.

  “I don’t know. Maybe a heart,” she answers honestly, unbuckling her seatbelt.

  Shaking my head, I bite back a smile. “That doesn’t help, but I can see your point.”

  My reply earns a loud cackle from V.

  Glad someone finds this funny.

  As we make our way towards the entrance, I sigh, “Let’s start with Jasper’s mom’s present, as I know what I want to get Jasper. I need more time to find her something, so this could take me all night.”

  “Oh, I know,” smirks V as the double doors open and we enter the chaotic mall. “What about a pair of ruby slippers, so she can click her heels three times and go the fuck back to Kansas.”

  “I think you mean Chicago.” I laugh hysterically.

  “Kansas, Chicago, who cares, same thing.”

  Linking my arm through my best friend’s, I bless the day she came into my world.

  “Seriously, Ava, you’re buying for Jasper’s mom, not the Queen! Buy her a candle and let’s go eat already. I’m starving, and we’ve been here for like three hours,” complains V, who has her hands on her stomach.

  I roll my eyes playfully at her, as we’ve been in the aromatherapy shop for twenty minutes, not three hours.

  Speaking of queens—Gee, what a drama queen!

  “A candle? Really?” I ask, making a face when I come across one that smells like patchouli.

  “That’s not a lot. I’m trying to make a good impression, and giving her a tacky, smelly candle is not exactly good impression material,” I say a little too loudly, as the shop assistant who walks past me gives me a snooty look, obviously overhearing my rant.

  I give her an apologetic look while V’s stomach grumbles loudly.

  “Ava!” she says, giving me an over-the-top, pained look.

  “Okay, okay. Fine, let’s go eat.” I cave as I can’t stand to see her pull that face any longer.

  Replacing the candle onto the shelf, I cringe when I smell my hands, which reek of hippy markets and weed.

  “Yippee!” V says, clapping her hands and jumping up and down.

  We head over to the food court and I order Chinese, while V is in the mood for Mexican. We take a seat in the busy eatery, and when I notice her meal, I raise an eyebrow.

  “Chili con Carne? Since when do you eat chili?” I question, because if anything remotely hot touches her tongue, she’s screaming that her mouth is on fire.

  As V gulps down the majority of her meal and groans, “Yum,” I look at her like she has grown a second head.

  “Who are you?” I joke, shaking my head while pushing around my food unenthusiastically.

  V shrugs. “I dunno, I felt like chili. And this isn’t that hot. Not like the one you made. Holy Jesus, that nearly blew my head off.”

  Chuckling at the memory, I tease, “Maybe married life has toughened you up.”

  V smiles happily at my comment, and it goes without saying she’s over the moon being Lucas’ wife. While she happily chews on her chili, my thoughts wander back to Jasper’s mom’s gift.

  “What am I going to get her, V? I want her to like me, and I know buying her a gift is kinda like a bribe, but I don’t know how to break the ice.”

  “Well, that’s because she’s the ice queen,” V says around a mouthful of food.

  “Not helping,” I chuckle, giving her a small smile.

  V takes a sip of water and shrugs. “What about perfume?”

  I ponder on her suggestion. “Yeah, that could work. But what kind does she like? It’s so personal. And I don’t know her like that. Or at all,” I mumble.

  This was a bad idea.

  To drown my sorrows I steal a bit of V’s chili, but as soon as it hits my tongue, my eyes instantly water.

  “What the hell! That’s freakin’ hot,” I pant, fanning my mouth.

  Stealing her water bottle, I take a big long sip, which barely takes the edge off.

  “How the hell can you be eating that?” I ask, as my mouth feels like a forest fire has spread from the tip of my tongue down to my esophagus.

  V looks down at her meal, and then back at me. “I don’t think it’s hot.”

  She looks concerned as she questions, “Do you think it’s because of the baby?”

  She whispers the word baby, and looks around to make sure no one is listening. I have to laugh because she is so damn cute.

  “Maybe your taste buds are more sensitive?”

  Sitting back, I wipe my mouth with my napkin, wondering if that’s possible.

  “You’re probably right. I can’t have sex, so this doesn’t surprise me. Oh, the joys of motherhood,” I say, sarcastically.

  V purses her lips, looking horrified. “You can’t have sex? Who told you that?”

  Shrugging, I answer honestly. “No one. I just guessed it would be unwise. I mean, what if it gets brain damage?”

  V snorts so loudly an elderly couple a few seats over turn to look at her, unimpressed by the loud, pierced tattooed hooligan cackling away.

  “Ava, you are such a dweeb sometimes,” she says, wip
ing her wet eyes on her sleeve.

  “Oh okay, so it won’t get brain damage?” I ask hopefully, as I have been clawing at the walls to get down and dirty with Jasper.

  “I don’t think so. I mean, that’s just gross if it’s true,” V says, scrunching up her brow. “However, the best person to ask would be a doctor. Speaking of which… when are you going to see Dr. Hemming? You can’t keep putting it off.”

  “I know, I know,” I reply, putting my hands up in surrender before she grills me further. “I will go, soon.”

  “How soon?” V inquires, throwing her napkin into her empty bowl.

  I lower my eyes guiltily. “I don’t know. Soon.”

  V raises an eyebrow. “You better.”

  Her tummy grumbles, interrupting her lecture.

  She looks at my untouched Cashew Chicken, and I swear she begins salivating. “You going to eat that?”

  Peering down at my plate, I push it towards her. “Knock yourself out.”

  She snatches up my fork and shovels down the food like she didn’t just polish off a huge bowl of chili.

  Gee, with an appetite like hers, anyone would think she’s the pregnant one.

  I’ve given up on finding an appropriate gift for Jasper’s mom. I’d rather get her flowers or chocolates, instead of something she will hate, causing her to hate me more than she already does.

  Fortunately I have more luck with Jasper’s gift, as V agreed it was a winner. I’m slightly nervous to give it to him, but it’s personalized, so he can’t take it back.

  “Thank God that’s over. My feet hurt and I need ice cream.”

  I let out a small chuckle. “Are you serious? You’ve eaten enough to feed a small starving nation,” I say, looking at a pair of Jimmy Choo sandals I so can’t afford.

  “Well, you’ve dragged me around for like five hours. A woman needs to eat.”

  I don’t know where she puts it. If I ate like her, my ass would remind me of my indulgence for a week afterwards.

  We’re on our way to get Ben and Jerry’s, when just by chance, I walk past a store I have never noticed before.

  “Stop!” I yelp, lunging for V and latching onto her arm.

  “That’s it!” I exclaim excitedly while peering into the shop window.

  V joins me, and when she sees what I’m looking at, she smiles.

  “Bingo.”

  My room looks like an atomic bomb has gone off inside.

  I have every single garment I own strewn everywhere. And I mean everywhere.

  On my bedside lamp, my rocking chair, my unmade bed, my messy floor, my ceiling fan—you name it, it’s covered in clothes.

  Tonight is the dinner I have been dreading since Jasper suggested it. But I have to do this because I know how important it is to him, and I have to at least try, for his sake, to get along with his mom.

  After my shopping spree, I snuck into Jasper’s house while he was at work to complete his mom’s gift. I just hope she likes it.

  I have a good feeling about it, and I’m pretty sure she’ll love it. But I’m not going to count my chickens before they hatch.

  One thing I’m not so confident about is my outfit. I don’t know what to wear, and it doesn’t help that I hate everything I own!

  I have been getting ready since 3 p.m., which was two and a half hours ago. Jasper will be here any minute and I’m still not ready. You’d think that fact alone would help me choose something quickly—sadly, it doesn’t.

  My iPhone beeps, and of course it’s lost amongst my mess. Only when it beeps again do I find it tucked under a mound of clothes on the floor.

  It’s from Jasper:

  I’ll give you twenty more minutes. I know you’re still half dressed.

  I let out a tiny chuckle, and within a second of opening it, I receive another.

  I just reread my last MSG. I’ll be there in 5 :)

  Covering my mouth, laughing, I mumble to myself, “Perv.”

  “Okay, enough with the stalling, get dressed already,” I say out loud like a crazy person.

  It’s way too hot for jeans and I know anything too constricting will suffocate me. I have an inkling I’ll be suffocating enough under the ice queen’s death stares all evening, therefore I don’t need anything to add to the constraint.

  My eyes land on the only thing I don’t hate.

  My yellow baby doll dress.

  Slipping it on, I happily finger the short, loose-fitting garment. The ruffled hemline sits just above my knees, and I adjust the thicker straps to sit snugly on my shoulders. The empire waist hugs into my middle, and the square neckline is just right, as it doesn’t expose too much cleavage.

  It’s perfect.

  Quickly touching up my minimal makeup, I reapply a thin coat of lip gloss to complement the hint of foundation and mascara I applied earlier.

  The heat is stifling, and I can feel sweat beginning to collect at the back of my neck, which of course means my long hair is sticking to the dampness. I quickly twirl it up into a messy bun, and push in the stick to hold it into place with my barrette.

  Slipping on my white flip-flops, I grab my bag, placing my lip gloss and perfume inside the inner pocket. Just as I’m zipping around looking for my cardigan, the doorbell rings.

  A big smile spreads across my face.

  Great timing.

  Placing Jasper’s mom’s gift in my bag, I collect my white cardigan on the way out of my room and bounce down the stairs to answer the door.

  Giving myself one last look in the hallway mirror, I think I look okay, maybe a little nervous, but no one can blame me for being a tad apprehensive.

  As I open the door, my heart skips a beat.

  “Wow,” Jasper says, mimicking my thoughts when I give him a quick once over.

  “Do I look okay?” I ask, fidgeting with my hemline.

  “Okay? You look more than okay,” he replies, suddenly making me blush with his not so discreet examination of me.

  He steps towards me, thumbing my lower lip. “Fuck, you look good enough to eat. I’m thinking we skip the dinner, and head straight for dessert.”

  He picks me up playfully while ascending two steps.

  “Put me down!” I giggle, slapping his arm lightly.

  He complies begrudgingly, setting me on my feet when he descends the stairs.

  “How am I meant to keep my hands to myself with you looking the way you do?” he says, running the back of his fingers down my face.

  I instantly blush deeper.

  “You can’t blame me for wanting you. It’s been way too long since I’ve been lost in you.”

  The heat in his blue eyes punches me in the guts, and I clench my thighs together, totally turned on by this conversation.

  I know he’s referring to our lack of sex over the past couple of days, which reminds me. I really need to make Google my best friend and find out the Dos and Don’ts of being pregnant.

  I’m hoping the Dos are literal, because I want Jasper to be at the top of my To Do list.

  Man, that thought has put really inappropriate visuals into my oversexed brain. And it doesn’t help when Jasper is staring at me with his heated, bedroom eyes.

  “Whatever you’re thinking, I like it.” He smirks as he pulls me into his chest, kissing me lightly.

  I can’t help myself as I open up to him, deepening the kiss, because the taste of him is mouth watering. Groaning in the back of my throat when he slips in his wicked tongue, I tug on the long strands of hair which are sitting messily atop his head.

  As Jasper begins trailing hot, wet kisses down my throat, I know now is the time to pull away, otherwise we won’t be going anywhere.

  I half-heartedly drag my neck away, and when I do, I’m confronted by a pouting Jasper.

  His expression makes me laugh.

  “I know, I know,” he says, puffing out a big huff. “Now I’m really going to struggle to keep my hands to myself.”

  “Gives you something to look forward to,” I rep
ly cheekily.

  Jasper tips his head back and groans. “You don’t play fair.”

  I giggle, loving the fact he has no restraint when it comes to me. “I never said I did.”

  “C’mon, baby, it’ll be fine,” Jasper coos, unbuckling his seatbelt and looking at me encouragingly.

  Gazing out the window, I peer at the house where his mom is currently cooking us dinner and gulp, as fine is not a word I would associate with tonight’s proceedings.

  Huffing out a breath, I nod. “You’re right. Everything is going to be totally fine.”

  Even when I say it out loud, it still sounds as unconvincing as it did it my head.

  Wiping my sweaty palms on my dress, I look over at Jasper.

  “I’m nervous.”

  Jasper chuckles. “Really? I couldn’t tell.”

  Slapping him lightly on the arm, I smile. “This isn’t funny.”

  Jasper latches onto my hand, bringing it up to his mouth and placing a gentle kiss on my knuckles.

  “It kinda is,” he replies with a dimpled smile.

  He is so enjoying watching me squirm—jerk.

  “Let’s get this over with,” I say with a sigh.

  “I love you,” Jasper says softly, giving me a heart-stopping smirk.

  That smirk makes me feel remotely better, but knowing I have Jasper’s affections is what gives me strength to soldier on.

  “I love you, too,” I reply, leaning over and giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

  As I’m about to pull away, he holds my face in his palm, resting our foreheads together. “Thank you for doing this.”

  I nod unhurriedly. “Anything for you. I love you.”

  Jasper closes his eyes and breaths a deep lungful of air. “Say it again.”

  My face hurts from smiling so hard.

  “I love you,” I whisper softly.

  This moment of stillness between us is simply beautiful, and I don’t want it to ever end. To be this comfortable with another individual without saying a word, is just… epic.

  However, all too soon Jasper pulls away, kissing the tip of my nose.

  “Ready?” he asks, searching my face.

  “Ready.” I nod in vain.

  Opening my door, Jasper is out before my feet hit the sidewalk, extending his hand for me. I place my clammy hand in his warm one and take my first step towards my nightmare.